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From Ask Margaret: How Do I Stop Co-workers from Telling Me What I Already Know?

What to do when a co-workers tells you something you already know? Why not simply listen? It might not be about you or how smart you are.

Q) A couple of the people I work with like to tell me things I already know. How can I make them stop? Do they think I am stupid?

A)  I don’t know what your co-workers think of you, but before you shut them down, I ask you to consider that this might just be their way of communicating.

Of course you are smart and you do know lots of things. When your co-worker starts to share information with you, perhaps you do already know what that co-worker wants to tell you.

But that isn’t always the point.

Try to refrain from saying “I already know that”.

Try not to even think it. And if it pops into your head, push it to the side. 

Your role in this situation might be to allow the other person to share and explore this information. Your role might be to help that person learn and grow simply by listening and discussing this information with them.

And isn’t it possible that you don’t know everything? Isn’t it possible that listening to that person share the information and hearing that person's perspective could broaden your perspective?

The conversation may start with something that you are sure you know but who knows where it will go from that point?

“I already know that.” Now there is a phrase that does not encourage conversation. In fact if someone approaches you to speak with you and you hit them with an “I already know that”; you might as well say “Go away” or “I don’t care what you think”.

You just killed the conversation.

When you shut someone down, you are closing the door to communication.

When you turn someone away with an “I already know that,” you are discouraging that person from sharing with you and growing with you.

The next time that someone has information to share, that person may see you and just keep walking. And when that happens, you will really miss out. You will miss the opportunity to learn something new, you will miss the opportunity to strengthen your bond with this person and you will no longer play a part in that person's growth.

That person will no longer participate in your growth.

But then you already knew that, didn’t you?

Until next time; wishing you peace at work. Remember to send
your questions to Ask@MargaretMeloni.com.
If you prefer to remain anonymous that's OK. I will not publish your name.

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Panglonymous May 16, 2013 at 02:38 pm
If the medium is the message, what is Patch 2 saying?Read More http://missionviejo.patch.com/groups/opinion/p/this-boards-for-you-whiners
Panglonymous May 16, 2013 at 01:22 pm
Got me an image stuck into the profile peephole after a little wrangling. Pretty much an abstractRead More at this size but what the hey, I know what it is and it pleases me... :-)
Nancy Wride (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Nice. Yesterday's Playlist was led by 'Livin' on a Prayer' :D
Panglonymous May 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Good morning, good morning ... good! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzhSbBftWtk
Mike Ruehle May 15, 2013 at 03:04 pm
Long Beach Police Commander Jay Johnson is now the 3-year chief of the Newport Beach departmentRead More described by Orange County media as, "Police Department Management Is a Cesspool of Adultery, Lies & Retaliation Against Honest Officers." http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/2012/07/newport_beach_police_departmen.php
Nancy Wride (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 09:18 am
Thanks, John.
John B. Greet May 12, 2013 at 10:00 am
Perhaps Ruehle should learn just a little more about all the things the Auditor's Office *does* do,Read More before whining and complaining about all of the things it doesn't. http://www.cityauditorlauradoud.com/office-of-the-auditor.shtml Beyond routinely identifying many areas of waste, fraud, and abuse in City government, the Auditor's office conducts a great deal of non audit-related services each year. Ruehle's comments seem to connote a belief that City Auditor Doud is somehow responsible for investigating and reporting on every bad decision the Council makes or every instance of questionable affiliation found throughout City government. She is not and even if she were, Long Beach taxpayers do not provide her with sufficient resources to do so. Despite that Ms. Doud is, herself, a citywide elected official, and despite her office's consistently excellent work-product, she can only fact-find and report her findings. Beyond her own office, she has no authority to mandate changes in the way other City officials conduct the people's business. Since her initial election in 2006, Ms. Doud's office has uncovered -and reported upon- millions and millions of dollars worth of fraud, waste, and abuse in City government. That's not sufficient for Ruehle who, despite all his complaints, will never consider running for that office himself and showing us all how much better *he* could do.
John B. Greet May 12, 2013 at 09:39 am
"...this article is saying that the fact that the city of Long Beach extorts millions ofRead More dollars from its residents in the form of RIDICULOUS parking tickets and charges outrageous fines for them is to be applauded?" No. There is actually nothing in this article that says that but please enjoy these lovely parting gifts.
Mike Ruehle May 12, 2013 at 06:56 am
What has City Auditor Laura Doud done since her re-election other than support anything wanted byRead More Foster & Delong. Maybe people should ask: 1. Why didn't Doud audit the city's transaction where city owned valuable port property was exchanged for swamp land? There certainly was enough controversy about the value of each asset. Wasn't it her job as the taxpayer's representative to look into it? 2. Why didn't Doud audit the amount of taxpayer's money used to support the 2nd & PCH project and the Home Depot project before that. The city was supposed to be compensated by the Developers for ALL of their costs, including meeting costs. However, that is NOT what happened. Millions of taxpayer's dollars where gifted to certain politically connected developers. 3. Why hasn't Doud audited the $1 dollar per year no-bid contracts of valuable city taxpayer owned ocean front property to the Long Beach Yacht Club, Alamitos Bay Yacht Club and other exclusive members only clubs for the wealthy and politically connected do determine what the value of an alternative use might be? 4. Why hasn't Doud audited the exclusive, no-bid, for-profit lease of city owned waterfront property to Steve Conley's and John Hancock's BANCAP company that has made those two men tremendously wealthy at the expense of Long Beach taxpayers? Doud started out with a bang when first elected. Since then, she has been a crony for anything Foster and DeLong related.