“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.” – Oscar Wilde
Simple advice, isn’t it? Why would you want to be anyone other than yourself? Oh I know you have your bad days. You're not perfect. You see someone you admire and you think, “Why can’t I be more like person X?” Why can’t person X be more like you? That job is taken by the best, the brightest and the most qualified candidate available– YOU.
Does this mean you can't look to people you admire for your own inspiration? Definitely not. The key is in how you use this inspiration. If you admire the way in which someone communicates, you may be inspired to make some changes to your own communication style. Do not copy them. Do not adopt their patterns of speech, their mannerisms and use their signature words. That will come across as awkward, inauthentic and possibly a bit creepy.
You have probably seen a person who decides to act just like their leaders. They begin to walk like them and talk like them. It doesn't work, because this person is copying and does not have a unique way of speaking and behaving. They become like big parrots. They recite what they hear but they dont' know why.
Consider what it is about their communication style that you find admirable and find YOUR way to update your approach. If you like the way in which someone puts people at ease in their presence, find your own way to help people feel comfortable around you. It is about developing your own way of being.
You might also find yourself looking at people you find less than admirable for some guidance on how you do not want to act. This is fine too; try to separate the behavior from the person, so that you are not judging them. Simply note the behavior, why you do not want to exhibit this behavior and find ways to prevent yourself from exhibiting the behavior. For example you note that one of your co-workers uses sarcasm when she's annoyed. You note that it causes others to stay away from her. You know you have a tendency toward sarcasm and you do not want to your colleagues to avoid you. You decide to work on stemming your own sarcasm.
We all have our own work to do to be at our best. Why add the burden of trying to be someone else?
Here’s to you being YOU!
