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Blog: The Blame Game

You're sick and you're not getting better. The same folks you need to support you say it's your own fault. Talk about kicking a dog when its down!

The subject of today's blog has been on my heart for a very long time, but I've been having such a hard time writing it. Friends have been encouraging me to write about it, and most importantly, I know there are others out there who are hurting and need to hear this. I have really struggled yet the words just wouldn't come. I think that's because the Lord still had more He wanted to teach me.

First, imagine you are battling a terminal or serious illness, or facing some other kind of crisis in your life. Now imagine that someone tells you that your illness or problem is because of unconfessed sin in your life and you just need to confess and turn from your sin in order to get well. Also, you just need to have stronger faith, then God would answer your prayers for healing. Or my personal favorite: "Just think good thoughts!" (Wish I had a dime for every time I've heard that!). So basically, YOU are to blame for your own illness and it's your fault that you're not getting well. Now imagine that this "helpful" advice is coming from fellow Christians, the very people you need to support and pray for you. How hurtful and isolating this kind of thinking is!

This went against everything I believed, but still I was wounded by it. I examined myself for unconfessed sin, strong faith in the Lord, and a positive outlook. I'm not perfect, but I felt I passed them all. I ran to my Bible to defend myself and clarify my understanding of God's view of sickness and healing.

First, I looked at the story of Jesus healing the blind man in John 9:1-3.  

"1 As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. 2 And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” 3 Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him." 

The disciples assumed that the man's blindness was the result of sin—either his or his parents', and this was a commonly held view, based on Exodus 20:5:

 "I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me."

But Jesus corrected them and said that this sickness was not the result of sin, but was a means of displaying the mighty works of God. He didn't mean that this man or his parents had not sinned, only that his blindness was not a direct result of sin in their lives.

I felt better, but was still searching for more. A few days ago I was paging through the New Testament looking for a particular verse, and I happened upon James 5:14-16:

"14 Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; 15 and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much." 

This seemed to completely support the idea that I thought was wrong! What the heck?!! God, now I'm really getting confused. Help me!

I dug a little deeper and learned more about what God's word says about healing. First of all, in a general sense all sickness is a result of the fact that sin entered the world. Sometimes sickness is a direct result of sin in a person's life, but not always. The blind man is an example of that, and so is Job. The verses in James refer to an illness that is related to sin.

God can and does heal, and He uses different means, including natural body processes, medicines, through doctors, and sometimes miraculously. But—it is not always God's will to heal. He has not promised to heal in every case, so it is not something we can demand from Him. It is a mercy.

Also, it is not true that failure to be healed indicates a lack of faith. The Bible is full of examples of men and women who suffered and struggled: Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, Jeremiah, Daniel, and Job to name a few. If that were true, some people would live on & on indefinitely!

I have also found the "health and wealth" theology to be hurtful and unbiblical, again laying blame on those of us who are sick or suffering. Talk about kicking a dog when he's down! The main problem with the "health and wealth" or "name it and claim it" theology is that it is man-centered rather than God-centered. Our happiness becomes the aim of life and the main reason for God's existence is to give us what we want.

Jesus told His followers to take up their cross every day which meant to be ready to suffer. We are called to die to the flesh, to the world, to everything we want. We are not called to seek our own happiness, but to seek the glory of God. Yes, God has promised us blessings and prosperity, but most will come in heaven.

Paul suffered from a "thorn in the flesh" which God didn't take away, but rather told him "My grace is sufficient for you." (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Paul said that God had a purpose in his illness and a purpose for not removing it.

I have always prayed that God would grow me more like Christ each day of my life. I believe that is His will for all believers. He uses all the events in my life (ALL THINGS!) to accomplish this, including my suffering.

Satan wants to trick us into thinking that God doesn't love us, doesn't care, or that we have done something wrong to bring the suffering onto ourselves and feel shame. Nothing could be further from the truth! Our God is good and faithful. He blesses us—sometimes in our darkest valleys when we don't feel like God is blessing us, that is when we receive God's greatest blessings!

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Panglonymous May 16, 2013 at 02:38 pm
If the medium is the message, what is Patch 2 saying?Read More http://missionviejo.patch.com/groups/opinion/p/this-boards-for-you-whiners
Panglonymous May 16, 2013 at 01:22 pm
Got me an image stuck into the profile peephole after a little wrangling. Pretty much an abstractRead More at this size but what the hey, I know what it is and it pleases me... :-)
Nancy Wride (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Nice. Yesterday's Playlist was led by 'Livin' on a Prayer' :D
Panglonymous May 15, 2013 at 12:25 pm
Good morning, good morning ... good! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzhSbBftWtk
Mike Ruehle May 15, 2013 at 03:04 pm
Long Beach Police Commander Jay Johnson is now the 3-year chief of the Newport Beach departmentRead More described by Orange County media as, "Police Department Management Is a Cesspool of Adultery, Lies & Retaliation Against Honest Officers." http://blogs.ocweekly.com/navelgazing/2012/07/newport_beach_police_departmen.php
Nancy Wride (Editor) May 15, 2013 at 09:18 am
Thanks, John.
John B. Greet May 12, 2013 at 10:00 am
Perhaps Ruehle should learn just a little more about all the things the Auditor's Office *does* do,Read More before whining and complaining about all of the things it doesn't. http://www.cityauditorlauradoud.com/office-of-the-auditor.shtml Beyond routinely identifying many areas of waste, fraud, and abuse in City government, the Auditor's office conducts a great deal of non audit-related services each year. Ruehle's comments seem to connote a belief that City Auditor Doud is somehow responsible for investigating and reporting on every bad decision the Council makes or every instance of questionable affiliation found throughout City government. She is not and even if she were, Long Beach taxpayers do not provide her with sufficient resources to do so. Despite that Ms. Doud is, herself, a citywide elected official, and despite her office's consistently excellent work-product, she can only fact-find and report her findings. Beyond her own office, she has no authority to mandate changes in the way other City officials conduct the people's business. Since her initial election in 2006, Ms. Doud's office has uncovered -and reported upon- millions and millions of dollars worth of fraud, waste, and abuse in City government. That's not sufficient for Ruehle who, despite all his complaints, will never consider running for that office himself and showing us all how much better *he* could do.
John B. Greet May 12, 2013 at 09:39 am
"...this article is saying that the fact that the city of Long Beach extorts millions ofRead More dollars from its residents in the form of RIDICULOUS parking tickets and charges outrageous fines for them is to be applauded?" No. There is actually nothing in this article that says that but please enjoy these lovely parting gifts.
Mike Ruehle May 12, 2013 at 06:56 am
What has City Auditor Laura Doud done since her re-election other than support anything wanted byRead More Foster & Delong. Maybe people should ask: 1. Why didn't Doud audit the city's transaction where city owned valuable port property was exchanged for swamp land? There certainly was enough controversy about the value of each asset. Wasn't it her job as the taxpayer's representative to look into it? 2. Why didn't Doud audit the amount of taxpayer's money used to support the 2nd & PCH project and the Home Depot project before that. The city was supposed to be compensated by the Developers for ALL of their costs, including meeting costs. However, that is NOT what happened. Millions of taxpayer's dollars where gifted to certain politically connected developers. 3. Why hasn't Doud audited the $1 dollar per year no-bid contracts of valuable city taxpayer owned ocean front property to the Long Beach Yacht Club, Alamitos Bay Yacht Club and other exclusive members only clubs for the wealthy and politically connected do determine what the value of an alternative use might be? 4. Why hasn't Doud audited the exclusive, no-bid, for-profit lease of city owned waterfront property to Steve Conley's and John Hancock's BANCAP company that has made those two men tremendously wealthy at the expense of Long Beach taxpayers? Doud started out with a bang when first elected. Since then, she has been a crony for anything Foster and DeLong related.