The other day it was 90 degrees in Belmont Shore at 6:30pm. Surely this means, if I am doing my Doppler Radar math correct, that it was 147 degrees in Palmdale. And we all know how the old saying goes; "when it gets to be over 140 degrees in Palmdale, it is officially bathing suit season".
So this means it’s time to get in “bathing suit shape” right? At least that is what they tell me on Fox News, under the headline "How will Benghazi affect looking your best in a bathing suit this season.” With that in mind, I have made a concerted effort this year to make some real progress in my fitness routine and be "bathing suit ready" by June. I should tell you that I have not done the proper soul searching due diligence on what exactly drives this goal, but I am sure it has to do with a burning jealousy of my high school water polo team. I also know that I can't spend more than 25 minutes at a beach without being bored to tears, which is also just about the time that my Irish skin begins to transition from its natural "skim milk" color, to a bothersome and uneven "Porky Pig" shade. The dream of one day cruising through Belmont Shore, shirtless, with the skin tone of Erik Estrada has faded long ago.
But I still fight the fight.
Buoyed by helpful blog sites such as "Daily Health Post" and my current favorite "Nerd Fitness", which all at once is inspirational, educational, and hilarious, I have finally made some good progress this year. (Nerd Fitness also shares my extreme dislike of running, which is an added bonus!) I have finally begun to understand nutrition a bit more, and how the body cannot simply make a beer, 37 pretzels, and a monster scoop of Thrifty Ice Cream disappear with 20 minutes on the treadmill. If it could, there is a good chance I would be Mr. Universe by now.
I still have paranoid thoughts that somehow the soft, warm pillow in my bed is working in collusion with the box of Oreos in my kitchen to somehow undermine any progress I have made thus far, but I will keep focused on getting close to my goal of being bathing suit ready. Now I just need to find a bathing suit.
Does anyone happen to know if there is a bathing suit that will make me look “less Irish”?
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