Here in the dog days of a Belmont Shore summer, I find myself to be one of its very spoiled residents, complaining of heat exhaustion when the thermometer reaches 79 degrees. (No doubt as the entire city of Palmdale
curses me.) Nevertheless, it is important to keep one's wits about them as they
deal with this sweltering onslaught of weather…. And so I find it to be very
…I am thrilled to see that “Expendables 2” is about to be released! There were so many unanswered questions from the first movie, namely “what is the limit of B-list action stars that you are allowed in a C-rate movie?” …. I am willing to bet my 100 million dollar IRA on the fact that the Romney dressage horse, Rafalca, is a much better dancer than Mitt …. The main difference between
me and Olympian Michael Phelps, you ask? When Michael was swimming miles in cold pools with a laser focus on his dream, I was on my couch eating miniature bagel dogs watching Motley Crue’s “Behind the Music”…
Considering the amount of money I have spent on sunblock this year for my pasty Irish skin, I have decided that next year it will be more cost effective to simply wear corduroy pants, a turtle neck and a ski mask to the beach (look out ladies!)…
For kids heading into high school this year, please know that this has always been true: The geeks shall inherit the earth, and nice guys finish first. Be true to yourselves, even if that means playing trumpet in the marching band, joining the chess club, or dancing in the school musical. Trust me; you will thank me at your 20-year high school reunion for this advice…
The main difference between me and Olympian Gaby Douglas, you ask? I don’t look good in the color red, and I am afraid of heights …. In the last month I have read works from Samuel Beckett and Jean Paul Sartre, and found the limit of what my brain is willing to put up with…. My dog Murphy thinks that Lassie was “overrated” but that Benji was “pretty awesome”…
My comedy dream team of Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakas are in a movie! Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s going to suck?...For me, the most depressing part of reality TV is that now, I don’t recognize 57 percent of the “celebrities” in US Weekly…The main difference between me and Olympian LeBron James you ask? He took his talents to South Beach, while I am looking for mine in Long Beach. Everything else is exactly the same.
Well, that’s finally cleared my head a bit. Hope you all enjoy the rest of your summer!
