30 Days of Gatorade-Part 2:The Perfect Trot Playlist

Since I have run this 5k turkey trot a few times before, I

am all too familiar with the most important item you need for your run. Good
shoes you say? Nahh…I figure my feet are gonna hurt regardless, so I am
sporting some LA Gear shoes I bought for 19 bucks at Big 5. Why spend money on
shoes endorsed by Usain Bolt when I could spend that money on more useful
things like the latest FIFA Soccer video game? After all, I think it would be
foolish to neglect the crucial development of my hand/eye coordination that
this game would provide for a one time Turkey Trot.

No, the most important item I am referring to is the iPod
playlist.

There are maybe only 3 things in the world that I would brag
about being “great” at, but I feel I am great at creating an iPod playlist. In
case you are wondering, the other two are stopping when I see a pedestrian
trying to cross Ocean Boulevard, and picking out just the right birthday card
at Rite Aid. (I am told that none of this would probably impress on a resume
however.)

Here again, is where I hear the judgment coming from the
true runners of Long Beach. “iPod? We don’t need no stinking iPod!” Yes, I
understand that many actual runners just listen to some weird inner voice
telling them to “keep pushing” or whatever…but for me…I need some tunes to get
me going. As stated previously, I really don’t understand running as an
exercise. Where are you going anyway? Can I just drive you there? On the way we can discuss your deep seated desire to be sweaty and uncomfortable for miles and miles.

A good iPod playlist for a 5k needs to tell a story. If you
think you can just put on 10 of your favorite songs, trust me, by the time you
get to “Call Me Maybe”, you will be gasping for air. Also, if you think that
you can create a playlist completely full of inspirational Rocky theme songs, once again, you will get out to a very very fast start, and will be crawling by mile 2. Yo
Adrian, can you give me a lift to the finish line?

In my experience, creating your music playlist requires some
anticipation as to what your mental, emotional and physical state will be
during the actual race. I will spare you the complete details of my playlist,
lest you decide that my musical taste “bites” and promptly stop reading.
However, I will let you know that I am starting the race with a lively tune
from the amazing 80’s band The Smiths. The beginning of the race is filled with
a sense of great euphoria so there is really no need for inspiration here, and
I chose this music because maybe in some weird way it will transport my mind to
the 80’s when the thought of running for 30 minutes was as easy as pumpkin pie.

After that euphoria wears off, which I anticipate for me
will be in about 8 minutes, then it is time to start with some music that will
pump you up as you realize you are all alone in this harrowing challenge of
man vs. flat, paved, southern California beach trail. For this section, I have
found that a live version of U2’s “Bad” works rather nicely. Please do not
confuse this with Michael Jackson’s “Bad” or you may very well veer off the
race trail and find yourself in a subway station having a vicious dance off
with a rival dance gang.

Once you have found music that will help you get through the
 rough middle section of the run, I find
it helpful to add a bit of hip hop into the mix to remind you that this is
actually not a life and death struggle, but rather a silly race full of silly people,
many of whom actually prefer to dress as turkeys while they run. Cypress Hill,
Beastie Boys, Eminem…all have several tracks that are sure to get your mind off
that weird throbbing muscle in your left leg and provide you a few giggles as
you realize you have made the turn and are heading to the finish line.

The next few tunes on my playlist are songs of celebration.
It is after all, Thanksgiving right? Bob Marley and the Wailers probably never
hung out backstage with Jimmy Somerville and The Communards, but in my playlist,
they are BFF’s helping me celebrate the fact that I just might finish this
thing.  This sense of celebration is also
important as you cross the finish line, for when someone takes your picture,
you certainly don’t want to have the look of “oh God this was so terrible” on
your face.  Although this may be what you
are feeling, you should know that the real runners will judge you, so it behooves
you to pretend like you wished the race could be a bit longer.

Now that my playlist is set, I am ready to lace up my $19
shoes and start training in earnest. This is where the pain begins.

Coming soon: My 5am trip to the gym to find out if I can run
the 3 miles already.

Spoiler alert: I cannot.